Jokes, Quotes Etc foe 09 2020

  • “Not that easy to get off” – Pretty much sums up 2020
  • “I will look spectacular in an orange jumpsuit, no one has ever looked better in orange than me! Many people say I look marvelous in orange.”(Trump)
  • “Albatross Wall” – Perfect description of Trump
  • Trump administration mantra- “CRUELTY FOR CRUELTY’S SAKE”
  • While the GOP prevented adequate financial relief to working families, they did get:
    -$120 billion tax break for business owners in the 1%
    -$6.3 billion tax break for a 3-martini lunch
    -$4.2 billion tax break for offshore tax scams
    -$2 billion for the space force
  • Her body, her choice. Pro life: get vasectomy.
  • We all laughed in psychology class at how dumb Pavlov’s dog was.
    Then the bell rang and we all went to lunch.
  • Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
    All they said was, “bach, bach, bach.”
  • I’ve learned a new excuse: “I didn’t drop it, those are calibration dents”
  • “Panty rings for extra security while horse-riding.”
  • QAnon Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene
    This is what happens when you gerrymander a district so small that the only people available to run for office come from a tree with 1 branch.
  • Sarah Sanders announcing she is going to run for governor – Is Arkansas looking for a liar with no political experience to be their next governor?
  • “Daddy what does formating Drive C: mean?”
  • Conspiracy Fetishist is what I call people that believe conspirishit.
  • Stop calling it Trumpism. Call it what is is: Fascism.
  • aka the libertarian dream “This is a good time to note that the electrical grid in Texas was deregulated, privatized, and removed from interconnected networks to avoid federal regulation and increase profits to a small number of wealthy individuals.”
  • “its a horse with a ice cream cone on its head!”
  • Everyone celebrated Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, and Michael Collins when they returned from the moon.
    Why am I the only one that remembers there were only two astronauts on the mission when they left?
  • Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea.
  • Human: the other white meat; the other dark meat.
    Cat: nom
    So don’t think you can rely on them calling 911
  • you know it’s a good video when you’ve blown your electrolytic fluid within a few minutes.
  • Imagine spending several years studying electrical engineering for theater and all you are remembered for is that time you were hired to light up a moose crotch.
  • wrt Hot Cheetos Mac And Cheese –
    “…Your Scientists Were So Preoccupied With Whether Or Not They Could, They Didn’t Stop To Think If They Should.”
  • Sage words of Wisdom from Kids
    Dont tell mom her diet isnt working
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