Jokes moar, etc

  • Reporter: “So Mr. Sean Connery, are you proud of your woodworking projects?” Sean Connery: “Yesh I’m proud of myshelf”
  • “Snorted too much strawberry nesquick powder in the 70s”
  • “we dont want that ass end of the garlic, it taste funky”
  • “Ever notice how much they look like orchids? Lovely!” Lazarus Long
  • Friends… Let’s be honest. Can any one of us truly claim we haven’t stripped for a dead pig?
  • “My balls are lose”(/Alton Brown)
  • “Im thinking of stiring in my Balls”(/Alton Brown)
  • Proclaiming “blue lives matter” isn’t to show support for law enforcement. It’s to show support for extreme abuse of power in policing, as well as entranced racist policies and procedures in law enforcement.
  • “For wherever two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Covid 1:9
  • Q: What is the internal temperature of a tauntaun? A: Luke warm.
  • “YOU WANNA DIE HERE… OR ON A JAEGER?” ON A FUCKING JAEGER SIR!
  • “This isnt a refuge! its a buffet line!”
  • Nunes: the Karen in Congress.
  • “I had to awkwardly hold it in place while screwing…” – LGR 2020
  • “Wrapped in plastic, begging to be unsheathed and put into action” – LGR 2020
  • “The people who are so opposed to abortion don’t care about the data,” she said. “It’s like climate change deniers. The data is irrelevant. But for women considering abortions to know that 95% of women didn’t regret it? That’s important.”
  • Now the Muslims can fund their schools with tax dollars.
  • Trump, defending traitors to America and dictators since he plagued the Oval Office.
  • #KarensGoneWild
  • It was nice how all the Republicans and anti socialism crowd returned their stimulus checks since they realized how hypocritical it would be to cash them.
  • You know how to stop Police Brutality? Ever settlement paid for all their shit needs to be paid from their Pensions and not City Tax payers. See how quickly they will reform. If the tax payers keep footing the bill for their abuse nothing will change.
  • Hydroxychloroquine is tide pods for #TrumpTurds
  • Republicans then: Time to sacrifice your grandparents for the economy. They had a good life anyways.
  • Republicans now: It’s your kids turn to die. Open them schools!
  • Man With Six Bankruptcies Calls Other People Losers
  • “Well butter mai butt!”
  • Witnesses are saying that the boats didn’t really sink since they had pre-existing conditions. Trump tweeted that he hardly knew them, and prefers boaters who don’t sink. No one seriously hurt so this gets the SorryNotSorry stamp of idiocracy
  • Amazing how people are skeptical of anonymous sources from respected journalists but will eat Qanon bullshit up.

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